Death
by ashley09
Summary: One-shot fic. Very dramatic! Katie releases her real opinions on what she thinks about herself and her life. R&R please!
1. Default Chapter

A/N: 'Allo everyone! What's shaken? Lol .. NEWAYZ.. I had the idea of writing this fic one night sitting in muh computer room bored as hell. I think it's pretty good! Thank's to ALISON for all of my encouragement! Love you chicka! WICKED! –holds up rock sign- well here it is.. I hope ya'll all enjoy it as much as I did writing it!

Disclaimer: I do not own School of Rock.

Title: Death

* * *

Death.

It's such a harsh word.

You would think passed away or gone would do it.

But some people just go straight to the meaning.

Death.

It hits you like a fist. Just hearing the word makes chills go up and down the back of my spine.

Especially when_ I_ think about it.

Death.

It's a horrible thing to say. I know. But sometimes I can't help but think about it.

Sometimes I just sit up in my room, thinking about what life would be like here without me.

Maybe more calm, peaceful, not as hectic. But...

I _am_ here.

And there's nothing I can do about it.

Because, that's what happened. But, sometimes I still can't help but think about it...

_Why_ was I born?

Was God just bored and decided to make some useless figure to put in a family who would dispise her for the rest of her miserable life.

Or...

Was I not _suppost_ to be here?

Like my parents say, I was just an accident.

_Just_ an accident.

Where they right? I always tried to ignore the fact that they would say that. But, now as I'm getting older... I can't stop thinking about the things that they say.

_Was_ I an accident?

Am I not _suppost _to be here?

Maybe I should just put myself out of my own mysery right now. So I can get rid of all the pain that's ruining my life. All the pain that's keeping me away from doing what I know will be best for me.

Death.

The thing that will lead me to my own happy ending. The thing I want more than anything.

Death.

That's all there is to it.

Enough said.

Death.

But, there is _one_ person stopping me from doing that.

The one person that I _can _trust.

The one person that I love most in the world.

Freddy Jones.

The one person I keep my mysery all bottled up inside to keep him happy.

But that's just the thing...

It seems like all I do now is try to make everyone happy.

And it never seems to be enough. Not enough for anyone who I try to make happier. To give up _my_ happiness for _them_.

But I can't take it anymore.

I can't take _anything _anymore.

And that's why I am going to do what's best for me.

Death.

My _own_ death.

To keep everyone else happy.

It seems like the only thing to do anymore. Just get rid of it all. Just like a sandcastle. One move, and it's all gone.

One move and _I'm _all gone.

Simple as that.

But then....

Why do I keep holding back from the one thing that will make me _and_ everyone else happy?

I know I'm not scared.

Or at least I _think_ I know I'm not scared.

Why would I be scared of what is going to make me happy?

Death.

It makes no sense at all.

But does anything anymore?

I should just do it right now. Get it over with. Because I know it will come soon enough.

Or.. at least I think it will.

No, it _will_ come soon enough. Because, it _is_ what's going to make me happy...

Right?

Death.

It will answer _all_ of my prayers. All the prayers I've ever needed answered.

No more praying for friends, a family, a better life.

No more.

Just death.

It will answer them all. Simple.

Or I hope it will.

Because, if I do this. There will be _no_ turning back. Because you can't turn back time. If you could...

I would have done it by now.

So I wouldn't have to be here.

Here.

With the world that hates me and my own happiness that I will _never_ have.

So there's no point.

I _am_ going to do it.

But I have to tell someone.

Not just _any_one.

Someone.

I know... Freddy.

But I can't tell him myself. He'll think I'm crazy. He'll go for help. I can't have him do that to me now. Not when I'm so sure of what I'm going to do.

Death.

So I _won't_ tell.

I _can't_ tell.

Not now.

They will soon find out what had happened to me.

Death.

I am going to do it right now. There's no questioning it.

I _am_ going to do it.

Right now.

Death.

I am. Because once it's all over.. no one will remember. They will forget about me. I won't be Katie Brown, the girl who no one liked. I will be Katie Brown, the girl who never exsisted.

Me.

And continue with there lives.

And pretend it never happened...

My death.

* * *

A/N: I hope ya'll liked! I know I did! I was kind of one brain-hold for my other SOR fic, but I'm starting my next chapter soon! So if you want, PLEASE check out my other fic too! I know you would enjoy it! R&R please! Much lub!

-ashley


	2. Author's Note

Ok, BIG humongous author's note:

I'd like to thank ALL of the people who read this story and even MORE thanks to all of the people who enjoyed it. Actually, I was kinda disapointed at how many people reviewed it. I was hoping that I would get a lot more, but I guess it wasn't that well written? Iono, I thought it was pretty damn good. I was just hoping more people would read it and enjoy it like my WONDERFUL reviewers did. Well, newho-let's not have a pitty party for ashley. Instead, let's have people tell me if I should write a sequal to it. I have one reviewer in particular, SarahLou, who thinks I should write a sequal in like Freddy and her parent's views about her death. I wanted to know what you all would think about me doing that. So gimme another review and tell me if I should continue or not. Ne who on with the following to give a HUMONGOUS thanks to my reviewers for Death.

**Rhun-** it is different from a lot of stories- I guess that's why I'm kinda really proud of it. I'm gald you enjoyed it! thank you for reading and reviewing.

**BabyRose129-** haha, thanks girl! I'm glad you at least paid attention in that class! I guess I kinda did too the, eh? Well I think I know what you want me to do with this! Lol, and imma try to write an angst after I'll Never Tell, or another chapter on this with the whole Freddy and her 'rents deal. Newayz, lub ya! Rawk on! Thank you for reading and reviewing.

**SarahLou-** Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it! I really love your idea of having Freddy and her 'rents point of view! I would have never thought of that! You have a good head on your shoulders! Lol, newho-thanks a lot! Thank you for reading and reviewing.

**lost-broken-confused-** well EXCUSE ME, if I don't remember correctly.. you just 'mmhmm-ed' and shook your head ACTING like you wanted me to and liked it, when REALLY you were paying attention to MATT the whole fuckin time! I'm not stoopid, ya kno? Anyways.. I've tried writing an angst song.. but it's just to weird.. I don't like writing about US trying to commit suicide.. other ppl are diff. Lol! C ya lata! Thank you for reading and reviewing.

**Marcy Bayd-** thanks! I know what you mean, sometimes I have to think about not doing all stuff for other people and start thinking about myself for once.. I've never thought about suicide.. so don't worry! Lol, I know what you mean! Anywayz.. I appreciate the review! Thank you for reading and reviiewing.

**IluvRockN'Roll-** thanks! I know- extremely dramatic, what can I say? I tried. Thanks bunches! Thank you for reading and reviewing.

Don't forget to tell me if I should write another chapter to this! Thanks a lot! Lub you all!

-ashley


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